Happy St. Paddy’s Everyone!
Every St. Paddy’s Day I feel this incredibly urge to hop on a plane and go to Ireland. It’s truly one of my favourite countries. Between 2001 and 2005, I visited the place 3 times. Oh and no matter what they tell you, the Guinness tastes better there than anywhere in the world…and no I am not being a beer snob.
I felt the urge to look at my pics from my first trip this morning for a number of reasons. First I was full of nostalgia and wanting to reconnect with a country that I felt at home in despite not having one ounce of Irish blood in me. My first trip to Ireland also marked my first vacation without my family, my first trip overseas and my first time traveling where I could legally drink (and oh did I drink–I should’ve invested in Jameson, Kilkenny and Guinness before I came over).
My first trip to Ireland also marks the heaviest point in my life. In these pics, you will see me at a weight of over 210 lbs. I really don’t know what the number was because I stopped weighing myself after I saw that number and that was some months before this. All I know is that at this point, my size 16 jeans which I bought specifically on a trip to the states to be my “fat jeans” were barely do-upable in these photos. I wasn’t strong enough at the time to do anything about it. I mean, i tried, but the attempts were half assed at best. I didn’t understand how much work it would really take.
The beneficial thing about these photos is it shows me how far I have come..especially at a time when I’m struggling to keep this journey going. Part of wants to just cave-give up, essentially–and be overweight for the rest of my life.
After seeing these photos. I have decided to fight. Despite having some good times on that trip, I felt so inadequate and ashamed of my body. I refuse to feel that shame…and by taking the easy road, of caving in and just giving up, I know I will feel that shame again…and I’m not having any of it! I will not be that girl again. My life is too important to just let myself revert back to someone who hides from life.
Gotta luv self pep talks, no?
So now that I have decided not to let the scale creep up again and to give all my skinny clothes to my friends, i will share with you these 10-year-old photos when i was just a young, wrinkle free, dyed orange haired, eye brow pierced, wanna be punk rock star lass!
P.S. I have one more classic photo to share–St. Paddy’s day 2007–King’s Head Pub in Winnipeg. Me and some friends just hanging out with Dennis Quaid.