A few days ago, I put up a venting post lamenting my single status, especially around the holidays.  As I love the season (usually) so much and having never had a guy to snuggle up to and spoil, has always been a bit irritating and frustrating to me….nevermind the whole idea of a family…but i don’t want to re-hash that post again as, today, I’m feeling a bit less grinchy and lonely…though I think part of that is strictly related to the email chain related to my friend L’s terrible customer service with Apple.  They sent her an update email, and her address has her first name in it, and the messages started with “Dear Sergio,” WTF? lol…it honestly made my morning as the small group of us who were included on this ridiculousness were making joke after joke.

Wow…totally off track…get back to the post, Leesah. lol.  So i did a quick review of the blogs I love, which always includes a stop at The Frisky (www.thefrisky.com).  There was a post about envy that they highlighted by a blogger at Already Pretty (http://www.alreadypretty.com/2011/12/the-flip-side-of-envy.html). 

This posting gave me more than a few moments of pause as it essentially screamed to me on a number of levels.  It talks about how envy, jealousy and comparison and even though its a natural and normal tendency, it is so incredibly dentrimental to your self esteem and your general happiness as it makes you feel like you are less, inferior and unattractive and it has a tendency to sprial. 

This is something that happens to me frequently….esp the spiral part, which, depending on the day and issue, it can go so deep it feels like I won’t ever make it out.  When I engage in this activity, the comparisons are not just about my body, but they are about the current place in my life.  What I liked about this article, however, is that it tried to get you to look at the other side of envy…that being, there are people who envy things about you–your body, your circumstances, your place in life. 

I knew this…in that far more broad sense–ie.  i know people would be envious of me because I have met those needs in the hierachy, for the most part.  I have good people around me, I am not starving or homeless and I have a job that allows me to do some fun things.  I started thinking about it more, though, throughout the day…breaking down to different things friends or family have said to me about what they envy about me.  I actually started to make myself a bit of an inventory (which i will share)…and it started to make me feel better–about my life and my body….so here is the list…

The Envy Leesah List

– my eyes–they are unique ice blue coloured, but they also change with what I wear and with eye make up.

– my legs–i have always hated my legs, but people tell me they are great because they are shapely and strong….and have gotten me through a lot

– my chest–i’m busty–works great for somethings…not necessarily for button down shirts or running

-my hair–its super thick, healthy and grows quickly.  It can also stand up to a lot of processing without showing the damage

– my butt–it is super small (compared to the rest of me)–which i wouldn’t have thought would be a thing to envy, but apparently it is.

– my lips–big but not too big….

– my eyelashes–without mascara they don’t seem very long, but one pull through the wand and I have crazy long lashes.

– my body’s resiliency (fitness)–even after time off or injury, my fitness always seems go come back very quickly.

– my general good health–aside from my migraines and the odd running injury, i am healthy as a horse with great blood pressure, cholesterol and a resting heart rate of 50 bpm.

– my baking skills

– my free time– a  few of my friends who have kids are envious of this

– my dedication to the gym — not everyone can run for two hours straight on a treadmill.

– my disposable income — this doesn’t need explanation–extra cash for fun things is always good.

– my large circle of close friends who accept me for me…even with my dramas of late.

– my dad–he is amazing…despite the fact he drives me nuts sometimes–i wouldn’t trade him for all the tea in China

– my grandparents–much like my dad (though these are my mom’s parents)–they are phenomenal and would do anything for me or my friends, which is so wonderful and unique.

So that is the list of things that popped into my head.  if you are feeling down–i kinda recommend doing one–shifts the perspective and really does make you feel better.

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