Morning Everyone!

As I mentioned last week, I finally met up with a guy from Match, whom was ultimately disappointing.  I was going to give him another shot–he wanted to take me out to dinner, so I thought, sure.  Maybe those weird/uncomfortable moments during our drinks were just due to nerves (i didn’t get into them in my post date recap post because I was mostly put off by his feminine demeanour…but rest assured…they were awkward…including comments about liking when I shot pool because he can look down my top or how he wants babies asap but any woman he gets involved with has to be ok with him being a bit of an absentee parent for his career, but also the favourite parents because he will be the fun one and never enforce any discipline, etc…oh and in an early text he made a crack about dousing me with holy water upon meeting because I am not religious).  Upon his ask for another date, I made it clear that the weekend we just had is a no go for our dinner, but that this weekend, the 28th, was fine.  He seemed cool with that and proceeded to text me over the past week.

In those texts he asked me to leave my friend’s birthday at the cabin weekend, at some point to meet up with him near his cabin for coffee and fries from some famous french fry truck. I said no as the cabins were nowhere near each other and I felt that it would be rude to leave my friend’s cabin to go meet up with some random guy I barely know.  His response back to me on saying no “well, it’s your loss.”  I’m sure he was trying to be cheeky with said response, but to me it felt very rude, on top of his invite being inappropriate.

So he texts me last night, asking me why I have been so distant the past few days(despite the fact that I do respond to his texts, but I am not starting the convo like I did pre-first meeting) and if I’d like to get together for a movie sometime this week/weekend.  I said I haven’t texted because I had no cell service on the weekend (which is true) and I have been busy with work, my graphic design class and life(which is also true).  He then followed up with “good–i was thinking you were dating several others guys from the website,” (like it is any of his business if I was?)  I also said sure to the date request, how about Saturday like we had talked about.  He said “great, you pick the movie but let’s play the timing by ear.”   This last bit, to me, was also annoying and arguably disrespectful because it sorta leaves me hanging–not knowing what to do on my weekend.  I have friends to see and things to do as well…just because I don’t have several designations after my name it doesn’t mean I spend my life waiting around for a guy to take me out to a movie.

I ended up emailing and texting a bunch of different friends of mine about this and it left me horribly confused and questioning myself…am I being too picky or not?  Some felt I was and that I need to get down to the root of whether there is a connection…and that is the only thing that matters–it is the deal breaker and that I shouldn’t focus on the negative like I “always” do.  The other (negative) stuff, apparently, I might be mis-interpreting, due to nerves on his part, or not realizing  his texts were in jest as the context, emotion and intent isn’t always clear in text like it is face to face.

Then another friend felt as though this guy is an a-hole and that anyone who’d expect you to leave a weekend with friends to come meet up with him is ridiculous and not worth your time.  The fact that you don’t seem to feel attracted to him just makes this all worse.

So what do you do then?  My friends were all within these two extremes.  I don’t know if I feel any connection as I have only spent two hours with him…but in that time, he made awkward conversation and a few inappropriate first meeting comments.  Since then, it’s just been more texting, half-assed invites out to dinner or the movies…just more weirdness…

So am I being too picky by thinking this guy is not worth my time?  I am finding that I am actually feeling anxiety when I see his texts pop up on my phone.  Is he really just an awkward guy that I am not giving a proper chance?  Given that I haven’t had a long-term relationship, nor a lot of experience in the dating world, I just feel lost… like I can’t trust my own thoughts on things because my friends whom I look to for advice have such different ideas…i mean…what are some of your deal breakers?  What are the things that I should overlook?  Am I being overly picky and focusing on the negative?  Or is this guy just  a massive douche and I should trust my selective vibes I feel when near/dealing with him?


Luv Leesah