So…this whole being almost 32 and single thing blows (which I think I have mentioned on this blog many times before).  I am sick of attending weddings by myself, not having anyone to travel with (not that I’m against traveling solo, but it gets lame after a while), not having someone to share my life with or possibly build a family with and well, I’m seriously sick of being lonely. I want a partner.  I want to have a guy who thinks the world of me and think the world of him.

When I was a kid, well, I would’ve though I would’ve already been happily married and had several children at this point.  How wrong was I?

I’ve had a few false starts back into the dating world since I took myself off the market in early 2011 because of my “blue” period.  My false starts are littered with guys who weren’t with it enough to do more than email or who were too busy and likely still in the closet.  Truthfully, this lack lustre re-introduction just made me want to stay out of the dating game for good.

So I got to thinking, well, maybe it’s my choice in guys and the way I have written up my internet dating profile that is the issue (er, one of several issues…my friend L has nicknamed me Turtle because I don’t openly flirt with guys because well, I don’t know how and I am afraid of what others will think of me–apparently I give off a great don’t approach me for romantic interests vibe *sigh* )?  Perhaps I’m not representing myself correctly or not focusing on the right criteria for a date?  That is where I got the following idea…

Have my friends fill out, watch my dating profile for me and select guys for first dates. Thoughts?  Smart thing? Stupid thing?  Hello? lol.

The idea of this is exciting and scary.  The plan was to have several close friends come over and together they complete the profile and questionnaire and they select the guys.  I just show up for the first date, with an idea of what the “exchanges” of information have been and we go from there. 

I am still afraid of the process of dating.  I’m scared of getting my hopes up, getting hurt, making the wrong choice, gaining approval of friends and family.  I’m also, mostly, scared that I won’t find anyone.  But, well, after doing all of this self discovery work, it seems like, well, I am kinda miserable anyway (regarding the idea of being single), so why not be miserable and date because at the very least, then, maybe I might happen upon someone who is worth while. And, in the meantime, I can continue to try to build myself up so that the idea of being single doesn’t bug me as much as it once did.

The flirting and not being a turtle thing, well, I have no idea how to fix that.  I wonder if I could contract out a dating coach to give me flirting lessons or something?  All I do know is that I don’t want to look like my ex-friend who used to start giving these weird “flirty” stares to guys as we would do laps around the bars when we were young in the hopes that she could find a night-time companion.  She never had any luck, but I think it is because she looked like she was on some weird drugs.

So…got any dating/flirting tips?  Love my idea re: my friends being my online dating masterminds?  Hate it?  Any other ideas as to where one can meet normal single guys in a small city?

Much luv,

Leesah

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