After a few weeks of positivity and what I feel is some growth, I hear from good ol’ facebook that the only guy I ever said that precious “L-word” to, a guy who proposed to me at one point in our relationship, got married this weekend.

FML. CSMF. Here come the flipping tears…tears I don’t want to cry but my brain, my body, my everything is betraying me. Shit!

I am going to try extra hard not to let this as well as the copious amount of weddings and babies I have been a part of in the past year and will be a part of in the year to break me.  I’ve fought too damn hard to come back from a place where I didn’t feel like my life was worth living. Everyone is worth more than that and finally I was  I am starting to believe it too.

To prevent the break, I am going to try some mediation, some mindfulness, a good post run stretch and maybe some free writing for venting purposes..and maybe some horribly awesome comedy like Dumb and Dumber as right now I need a mixture of kind words, calm and some well-timed humour.

And, most importantly, when I go into my friends wedding on Sunday, where I know virtually no one, I will walk in with confidence, looking amazing and I won’t break, even if I am, just a little, on the inside.

Much luv,