Allo All,

In the last two weeks, I have had this statement repeated to me at least half a dozen times from different people on different occasions and surrounding different events.  I feel like this is a signal from the universe to not be so hard on myself when I reflect back on the past year, as a lot of people tend to do around the time of year.

I feel as though I have made progress on several fronts. Some things still aren’t where I want them , but that isn’t what progress is about—it’s about moving towards the goal—and I feel I have definitely done that in all aspects of my life

 My Body

–I’m back to working our rather regularly and tried some new stuff (hello cross fit!).  The proof is in the pudding when it comes to my migraines—they are definitely not as frequent—which was not the case in 2011—I wasn’t working out regularly and it totally affected my poor little head.

 –I no longer feel that I am at the mercy of my eating disorder or at war with my body.  Do I still over eat from time to time, yes.  Will that ever go away? No, I really can’t see it as I think it is something normal and it’s also not something that happens every day.  Do I have the urge to eat uncontrollably and urgently when stressed?  NO.  And, should I find myself having eaten too much do I have the urge to purge?  No.

–I didn’t lose the weight I was hoping to this year.  I really wanted to get back into the 150s…but it was too hard with the comings and goings of life and trying to re-build my life.  I did make some progress…only about 10 lbs…but it’s still a net loss and I’ve kept my weight relatively steady…and, most importantly, I didn’t put on any more weight from where I started.

–since I started to see my amazing hair stylist, Guy, in late 2011, my hair has drastically improved in it’s amazingness….and it just keeps getting better–yay progress! 🙂

 My interests

–I am a way better cook and baker than I used to be—and I’m more willing to take chances/risks with what I make.  I think it all started with my turn as host for my large family’s Christmas eve celebrations.  I cooked for multiple days and made food for 35 people.  Nobody died of food poisoning, there was little to no leftovers and I made a cupcake that I still actually can’t believe I made.

–I am working out, but in a more balanced way then before.  Also, I am not using the gym as a punishment for eating a cookie.  It makes my visits to the gym generally more enjoyable than in the past.

–Blogging has been a huge outlet and benefit for me.  It’s nice to have this record of progress but also a platform where I can bounce off ideas or test things out or just vent….and just let it go out in the world.  By exploring blogs, it has also shown me that I’m not alone in terms of some of the ways I had thought about myself, my body and my life.

 My heart

–I went out on several dates and opened and closed an online dating profile, which is a big improvement from the past year.  Given that I didn’t do anything in 2011, this is arguably big progress.

 –On the advice of my counselor whom I see from time to time, I made a list of things I want in a partner.  I just need to work on the visualization—of him coming towards me—which still feels a bit silly to me. lol.

 –I am also contemplating a (for me) gutsy move on this front…so stay tuned.

 My head

–I’m a lot kinder to myself than in 2011.  This year was about becoming ok with who I am and how things are.  I’m on the way…and I couldn’t be happier.  In fact, I caught myself admiring my slightly pudgier-post-cookie-exchange-snack-fest physique this morning in the mirror as my chest looked really amazing in sweater I wore.  I also invested in new clothes after not buying much for a long time due to 2011 weight gain.  Having this new wardrobe has done lots for my confidence.  Every day I feel gorgeous and that I can hold my head high when I leave the house–something I haven’t done in well over a year.

 –I have also made a rule not to dwell on things for longer than about 24- 36 hours.  I try to make it less, but generally I need a day to essentially “cry it out,” for lack of a better term, and then I feel like I can move on.  Much better than 2011 as it was essentially a year of being varying levels of sad and angry.

 –I can say no to people now.  I’m still not great at it…and my people pleaser tendencies do try to come out at times…but I can also say no when I really need and want to.  Huge.

 My finances

–I tried to stick of a budget—but I fell off the wagon this fall, (thank you J.Crew very Personal Stylists).  The lesson was, however, was a greater awareness of my spending and where my money is going.  I am going to try to stick to a budget starting in 2013 by establishing myself some rather lofty savings goals.

 –I finally took a hard look at my finances and have selected a financial institution that is going to help make my money work for me.  Feel much better now that I have settled all of that.

 My career

–I am still a bit stuck on this one. Though I have developed a plan to move forward on in the new year.

 –Data entry and other minutiae/detail/repetitive stats like things are things I must avoid.  I have also learned that I’m pretty good at dealing with people and building relationships.

Here are the things from 2012 where I feel I achieved my version of perfection:

    • I rocked my half marathon in Fargo this year and scored myself a PR. 
    • Macarons ftw!

      Macarons ftw!

      I made proper French macarons for the first time…and was able to repeat it again and again.

    • I broke out of my comfort zone and joined a cross fit box.  I now have biceps and the beginnings of a muscley hot back.  Best. Decision. Ever. –except when the WOD has burpees.
    • I managed to knock a work project out of the park–totally surprised and felt great.

  • I also made myself 2 kick ass birthday cakes within one day–I feel like that was an amazing accomplishment.  Hell, in general, I think I just took my cooking and baking skills to a whole new level this year.

    Birthday cake 1 of 2. :)

    Birthday cake 1 of 2. 🙂

  • I went on several set up style blind dates–something I have never done before.  Not a fan of it, but I did it–which is something I would never have done in the past.
  • I embarked on a gratitude challenge that was definitely beneficial.  I look forward to starting it up again in the new year.

Now, I have a question is for you–what parts of your life did you make progress on?  Are there any spots where you feel you achieved perfection?

So on that note, I bid you all adieu.  Much love,

Leesah

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